Bye 2017

Well deng, another year came and went. And it was another fricking year wasn’t it? Whoo boy.
Besides the obvious world-on-fire-everything-is-scary stuff everyone had to deal with, a whole lot happened in my personal life. And when I say a whole lot, I mean not a lot happened, but it was still super sucky.

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Camera: Nikon Lite Touch AF
Film: Kodak Portra 160

2017 was the year that the person who said he wanted to grow old with me, told me he had never been in love with me.
That happened a few months after I found out he had been cheating on me during our entire relationship.

Yup. That happened.

Since I was already in a pretty dark place when this all went down, I spiralled into an even darker place. And I ended up being diagnosed with depression. I’m currently still trying to find the right therapy, that will help me with my depression, while also taking my physical disabilities into account. This has proven rather tricky. Plz to all cross fingers and toes I find something soon, ’cause shit’s hitting the fan in my head and it’s not good.

Those two things seem to have made 2017 a year that feels like one big dark blurb. It feels like it only started yesterday, and at the same time some days this year have felt like decades.

I’m doing my best to climb out of the darkness though. And maybe I’ll start using this blog again as a way to do just that.
For now I’ll leave you with another video (hello yes never not using my blog for videos it seems hello sorry), I promise it’s a good one ❤

Yes, that was my face the entire year of 2017! Fun times, dark times, all the times! See you soon cuties ❤

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Happy Birthday To Me!

It’s my birthday today!

This year it’s going to be a little weird, because not only is it my birthday, it is also my uncles birthday, and it is also that same uncles funeral today. Kinda poetic, don’t you think? His life and death so close together on this day.
I’m not feeling particularly festive today, and we’re holding off any presents and party time till tomorrow and a few weeks from now. But it’s still my birthday today, so I made myself a cake either way :3

Okay, I still prefer real cake. Because it’s the best. Ever. So I’m going to have some tomorrow. But this was still pretty fun to do ^-^
(And yes, thanks to pacing, and a lot of patience, I can now draw again every once in a while! Yay!)

 

(UPDATE october 2016; this video was deleted because of copyright infringement)

Wheels For Annika-versary

Holy smokes, can you believe it?! The fundraiser that my sister Rebekka, and my friends Maartje & Mirjam started to help me get a wheelchair, started exactly one year ago today.

~ here I’ll give you a couple of seconds to think about how fast time goes ~

I KNOW RIGHT! SHEEZ! Time is a crazy person.

I still have trouble putting in to words just exactly how much this fundraiser means to me. Even a year later I get so overwhelmed by all the messages and kind words and people who responded (and of course, ALL the people who donated, so many, so crazy, so blessed). It was an incredible rollercoaster ride, that still thrills me. Not to mention how happy I still am with my wheelchair, and my Roomba Irobot.
To each and every person who participated, in any way shape or form, a donation, or a share on your fb/insta/tumblr, or who just read it and knew more about CFS afterwards. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

Not but seriously you guys, it was so amazing, and I still feel so loved and accepted because of all you guys. Thank you ❤

THANK YOU ❤ ❤ ❤

And to thank you guys a lil’ bit more. I spent the last couple of weeks working on something special for you guys. *insert sneaky emoji face*

It’s kinda like like LotR. Cause it has so many endings. So it’s totally like LotR. In every way. Except no elves and orcs and gollum and such. And only seven minutes instead of several hours. But other than that. LotR like masterpiece, right?!

I hope you enjoyed it, as much as I have enjoyed using my wheelchair over the past year. I still hope that I won’t need it some day soon, but I’m going to try and enjoy the heck out of it now that I do ❤

Thank you ❤

PS no idea what I’m talking about?! Click here! ❤

Cataculair Birthday Parteh Celebrations.

Bep & Sjonnie’s second birthday from Annika Mell on Vimeo.

Yesterday it was my kitties second birthday. And seeing as how I had forgotten their very first birthday the previous year, I decided to make it a little more festive this year. With a birthday feast and an awesome new toy to play with. In true CrazyCatLady fashion I made a video of all their birthday joy.

I think they liked their party. I am a happy cat mommy.

(The video was made and edited using my iPhone5. With help from the ‘Vintagio’ app. Which is great, apart from the fact that it crops the video for some reason, which is why you sometimes can’t see a full kitty)