Bye 2017

Well deng, another year came and went. And it was another fricking year wasn’t it? Whoo boy.
Besides the obvious world-on-fire-everything-is-scary stuff everyone had to deal with, a whole lot happened in my personal life. And when I say a whole lot, I mean not a lot happened, but it was still super sucky.

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Camera: Nikon Lite Touch AF
Film: Kodak Portra 160

2017 was the year that the person who said he wanted to grow old with me, told me he had never been in love with me.
That happened a few months after I found out he had been cheating on me during our entire relationship.

Yup. That happened.

Since I was already in a pretty dark place when this all went down, I spiralled into an even darker place. And I ended up being diagnosed with depression. I’m currently still trying to find the right therapy, that will help me with my depression, while also taking my physical disabilities into account. This has proven rather tricky. Plz to all cross fingers and toes I find something soon, ’cause shit’s hitting the fan in my head and it’s not good.

Those two things seem to have made 2017 a year that feels like one big dark blurb. It feels like it only started yesterday, and at the same time some days this year have felt like decades.

I’m doing my best to climb out of the darkness though. And maybe I’ll start using this blog again as a way to do just that.
For now I’ll leave you with another video (hello yes never not using my blog for videos it seems hello sorry), I promise it’s a good one ❤

Yes, that was my face the entire year of 2017! Fun times, dark times, all the times! See you soon cuties ❤

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A week in the life of, pt2 – vlog

Hello friends ❤

I put some music over part two of the weekvlog, and here it is! It's a bit more me talking, which can be nice if that's your jam. If not, sorry not sorry, there's still lot's of cute cat shots in between the talking to make up for it though.
(also there's my sweet mother helping me, a pretty awesome houseparty, my sweet sweet friends, my kick ass sister, and even more cute cat shots.)

And I promise I'll come back after christmas to write a proper blogpost about what I've been up to the past year (spoilers: not a lot)

A week in the life of, pt1 – vlog

Oof. Well. Hello there.

Sheez it’s been a hot minute since I was on here.

In my last post I talked about how 2016 had been QUITE the year. Lol.
Little did I know what 2017 had in store for me. *insert poop emoji*

I’m not super into talking about the shitstorm that is 2017 rn tho. So let’s just watch Part One of a lil’ weekvlog I made recently! Yay!

Yuuuuuup, I’m still super poorly, and my life is pretty deng boring, but I hope you enjoyed watching it anyway. See you soon for part two! =*

Summer time gig – mini vlog

Hey cuties! This is sort of a ‘throw back saturday’ or ‘flash back weekend’ type update, hehe. #laterblog

Last summer I was extremely lucky, ’cause I got to see one of my favourite bands perform. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros ❤ The gig was at the beach, which made it even more perfect ❤  I filmed a lot that day, because I knew it was a special one. But I never got around to editing everything together. UNTIL NOW! yay!

It was a really fun day, and I think you can really tell that it was in the video =) But I do want to note that a day like this is very, very, VERY rare for me these days. It took me several weeks of preparing before; resting a lot, not planning too many other outings, takings painkillers during the day, showering the day before, etc, etc. I was in a lot of pain before, during and after the concert, but I pushed myself to stay there, and to try and enjoy it while it was happening. Which was hard, so I’m very thankful that I made a lot of videos, because they help me relive the experience, without feeling the amount of pain that I was in =)
Afterwards I was absolutely exhausted, and I don’t even really remember how long it took me to recover. I think I showered three days after? Something like that? Those recovery bits are always a blur in my mind, so I’m not sure.

So yeah, gigs are not easy for me, and I wanted to remind everyone of that. Because somehow people always think you’re cured when they see that you’re smiling and/or happy. (oh how I wish that were true tho, hehe) Some days are just worth all the pain and trouble, and this one definitely was.  So without any further reminders of my pain and agony,here it isssss <3333

SUCH A GOOD EVENING! YAY ❤

Day of resting – vlog

Hey cuties! To break the amount of large text posts, I thought I’d share a vlog I made a couple of months ago. It’s taken me a while to edit it, but I finally finished it, yay.

It’s a bit of a boring day, and I wasn’t sure if I should share it or not, but since this is normal life for me, I figured it was worth sharing after all. Real life with Annika and all that jazz.

So there you go, a shaky, wobly vlog, with pretty crappy sound and video quality. Hurra.
Expect loads of kitties, cups of tea and resting. Oh and Kevin coming over for dinner and cheering me up, yesh ❤

Veluwemeer weekend trip

Kevin’s parents have the best holiday home, and we get to use it sometimes. It’s the best place, so peaceful and quiet and beautiful ❤
We had the best weekend there, and we even managed to take a little trip to the Kröller-Müller, a museum I’ve wanted to visit for aaaages. It was super fun, and there was a lot of really beautiful art.

Anyway, I video’d a buttload of stuff, and put it all together with some music, and here it is!

Here’s hoping we’ll get to go back for many more weekendtrips, yiissss. ❤

Happy Birthday To Me!

It’s my birthday today!

This year it’s going to be a little weird, because not only is it my birthday, it is also my uncles birthday, and it is also that same uncles funeral today. Kinda poetic, don’t you think? His life and death so close together on this day.
I’m not feeling particularly festive today, and we’re holding off any presents and party time till tomorrow and a few weeks from now. But it’s still my birthday today, so I made myself a cake either way :3

Okay, I still prefer real cake. Because it’s the best. Ever. So I’m going to have some tomorrow. But this was still pretty fun to do ^-^
(And yes, thanks to pacing, and a lot of patience, I can now draw again every once in a while! Yay!)

 

(UPDATE october 2016; this video was deleted because of copyright infringement)