Camera: disposable camera I had in my bag all summer to take random snapshots with.
So. The new school year started two weeks ago. And I have been working two mornings a week. And when I mean work. I mean full on teaching activities. With a full class.
This is the first time since last october that I’m actually feeling like a real teacher again. And that’s equal amounts awesome and terrifying.
Awesome because I am now capable of spending two mornings a week doing my job.
Terrifying because I feel like a huge pile of crap when I’m done working, which gives anxieties about never being able to work and feel like crap afterwards.
But I’m doing my best to keep my PMA. And I’m actually really proud of myself. Not only am I working two mornings, I’m also spending the rest of my time keeping up my rehabilitation schedule set up with my therapist. It doesn’t sound like a lot. But when I think about where I was four months ago. A big pile of fatigue, pain and insecurities about that same fatigue and pain, working a few hours doing paperwork instead of teaching, I think I’ve come a very long way.
I’m no where near where I want to be, and it seems my body and mind need their sweet time to get there. But that’s okay. I’m okay now with giving my body and mind the time they need. Even if that means my current job might not be my job anymore in the future because of it. My health finally comes first in my book. And that was about time.